Short Play :Maureen & Veronica

CAST:

• VERONICA – Dry-witted, intelligent, reserved. 40s-50s. The more grounded, dry-witted, possibly long-suffering friend. Clearly has something on her mind—could be personal, emotional, or a conflict. The more grounded, dry-witted, possibly long-suffering friend. Clearly has something on her mind—could be personal, emotional, or a conflict.
• Maureen: Glamorous, flamboyant, slightly chaotic. Her confidence could be masking something else—maybe heartbreak, fear of ageing, loneliness.
• Duncan – Mid 30s ,relatively good looking, bit of ladies’ man, gambler so short of cash, sees Vernonica & Maureen as gullible about to be put in place as tries to date both. In his 30s flirty and friendly – attractive new at office, bit of an unknown quantity

SCENE 1 INT. LANDING OUTSIDE BATHROOM – Early evening.

(SFX: DRIPPING TAP. CLOCK TICKING. CREAKY STAIR. VERONICA MUTTERING.GOING OUT MUSIC PLAYING FROM DOWNSTAIRS )

VERONICA (muttering to herself , sotto voice) I will not lose my temper… not lose my temper… One, two, three… breathe in and out…harry Krishna …harry Rama… (giggles to herself despite annoyance)… 

MAUREEN (off, behind bathroom door) Oh, chill out, love, I’m on my way! And I told you I need to look my best, didn’t I? Duncan from the office might be there… what a babe. Oh—no—bugger—that hurts, this blooming strap is pinching my back!

VERONICA If it really fitted Petal, things wouldn’t be trying to escape through the seams, would they? That girl in the shop went redder than a lobster. You said ( knocks on the door) …that (knocks) …We’d (knock) …be ( knock) …gone (knock ) by ( knock) …seven …(big knock).

(DOOR CREAKS OPEN.)

MAUREEN Ta-da!

(SFX: GLITTERY MUSIC STING. PAUSE.)

VERONICA Well, it’s… striking. You’ve certainly left nothing in the locker. But Maureen, wait—I need to talk to you about—

MAUREEN (cutting in) It’s alright, pet. I get it. Of course I can help you. Know you’ve been a bit short of money recently, eh? We’ll chat later but now …

VERONICA (V.O.) She didn’t know what I meant. But I let it slide.

SCENE 2 –– On the Way to the Wedding reception :

• In the car or walking, conversation continues.  Veronica tries (and fails) to raise the topic again.    They pass funny/awkward people in the street (opportunity for comic commentary).   Could use sound design in radio version (street noises, car sounds, a busker, etc.).

EXT. STREET – Walking to the wedding reception.

(SFX: FOOTSTEPS ON PAVEMENT. A SUMMER DAYS , PASSING SEVERAL LOUD BEER GARDENS ON WAY, EARLY AFTER NOON DRINKERS.A FEW CATCALLS FOR THE LADIES .DISTANT TRAFFIC. BIRDS. CHURCH BELLS.)

MAUREEN Honestly, it’s lovely out…and we have saved 10 quid on a blooming taxi…no wait, that two more Proseccos for us…woo hoo ! Spring in the air, blossom on the trees, small talk to dread.

VERONICA You should go into poetry.

MAUREEN  I did once. Got an F and detention for rhyming “bucket” with—well. Let’s move on. Me feet are starting to kill me already…God. I wonder…

VERONICA (interrupts) You ever get tired of it?

MAUREEN (Different tone, defiant now ) Of what, poppet , my shoes or just walking in general? Well. Let me explain, to get from point A to point B you need to…

VERONICA ( cuts in ) The performance dear… The hair, the makeup, the dresses with zips that scream for mercy. Spring may be in the air but you are no Spring chicken, not even a chick anymore…

MAUREEN Nope. That’s who I am. I’d rather be overdressed than overlooked. Why? You thinking of giving it all up and becoming a nun?

VERONICA Only if it means I don’t have to see your cleavage every weekend. It’s like looking at the top of the heads of those two bald guys in Right Said Fred! Remember them? 

(THEY LAUGH. SLIGHT PAUSE.)

MAUREEN Nice one Ronnie ,but showing your age a bit there dear …Look Ronnie I can see the Do from here …not long now…pretty sure you can dance in those flats though? Pretty sure my Gran had a pair of those…Bloody hot, isn’t it?…

(JOKE FALLS FLAT… UNNATURAL SILENCE so MAUREEN CHGES TACK …LIGHT PAUSE SFX : CLIP OF HIGH HEELS ON THE PAVEMENT)

You’ve been a bit… strange lately. You alright?

VERONICA I’m fine. Just tired.

MAUREEN (serious) Ronnie. That’s the “I’m fine but actually my house is on fire” face.

VERONICA (deflecting) Well the boiler has been making odd noises…

(THEY LAUGH.)

MAUREEN Alright. I’ll let it go. For now. But I’m watching you.

SCENE 3 – SFX Office coffee space, distant office noises and chatter, sound of ancient coffee machine so loud that it masks someone entering the room.

VERONICA  (VO)  She’d do well to watch me you know as I knew that her precious Duncan was one right slippery customer, and I was not prepared to see her fooled by that rat like I was. Though it started off fine that day a month ago in the work coffee room…

VERONICA ( grumbling to herself moodily) Bloody machine…C’mon I only have 10 blooming minute left of my break…Could Walk to frigging Columbia at this rate….

DUNCAN ( has entered unnoticed) Want me to kick it for you?

VERONICA ( spins round , bangs head on cupboard) JESUS…who the fu… Oh it’s you…next time just shout in my ear and finish me off…

DUNCAN (mildly) So sorry Maureen , didn’t mean to startle you love …I mean we do come in here at the same time every day after all and…and …I wanted to catch you alone …

VERONICA  Oh it’s OK ,Derek …just got a lot on me mind now…in a world of me own…you wanted to …catch me…you some sort of weirdo?

DUNCAN It’s Duncan actually…you see ( points to name badge )… oh well …its just that …was wondering if you wanted to grab a quick drink after work…sometime …or…maybe you need an ambulance for concussion?

VERNOICA  ( brightening up) Listen DUNCAN you seem like a nice guy an all but I’m maybe a little bit older than you ? Also noticed that you seem to hand round Maureen’s desk like a fly around…I mean you seem quite keen on her…

DUNCAN  She works in the same department , that’s all and she’s a little …mmm…over-friendly sometimes

VERONICA ( beginning to laugh gently, interrupts) Slutty, you mean ?

DUNCAN No, no…I mean…well, sort of …no offence…anyway I came to ask you something…

VERONICA No I am not going to make you a coffee as that would be totally sexist , but yes you can have my number…

VERONICA ( VO) Yes, he did call, and we had that drink, turns out he just wanted inside my knickers asap…no romance, no laughs, and what a skinflint too…who takes someone to Nando’s in the first date? I couldn’t tell Maureen any of this though. When she has her heart set on something…get out of the way…  

 SCENE 4. Scene Two – EXT. On the Way to the Wedding reception HOTEL GARDEN:

(SFX: VAGUE CHRISTMAS PARTY MUSIC, COUPLE OF GOOD-NATURED SCREAMS, CHEERS, GLASSES CLINKING, GUESTS CHATTING)

MAUREEN (gasping) There he is. Duncan. God, that man still makes my ovaries do the can-can. And if anyone can can he can can .

VERONICA He’s holding a tray of mini sausages and trying to dance at the same time, what a mover, not . Try not to propose either.

(SFX: MAUREEN APPLYING LIPSTICK.)

MAUREEN Wish me luck. The green-eyed monster is in full flow tonight …mmm…Ronnie. Any of the Freds poking out?

VERONICA Not yet , do you think anyone would notice in this flesh market ? Ginny from accounts over there has forgot to put on a skirt , the DJs eyes are practically springing out of his head, the perv! What is it , a skort or… OK then, break a leg. Preferably his.

(SFX: CROWD AMBIENCE. MAUREEN WALKS OFF. PAUSE.)

VERONICA (V.O.) This was my chance. I could just slip away. Go home. Pretend none of it was real. But she deserved the truth. And I was tired of lying. Only 2 weeks ago and he was trying it on with me – the old romantic story , boy meets older woman , thinks she’s a …well, she’s a bog girl now , make her own mistakes she can… 

SCENE 5 – EXT. HOTEL LOBBY VENUE FOR CHRISTMAS PARTY, LATER

(SFX: CROWD DIMMER NOW. MAUREEN RETURNS.)

MAUREEN He’s married. Or so he says…to someone called Mandy. If he wore a ring it would be easier, eh ? The way he flirted with me in the office too…shameful…She’s got a jawline that could slice a melon. I’m devastated. Fancy a vol-au-vent?

VERONICA No thanks. Something tells me you had a lucky escape their pet…there is something about him…a bit creepy…and lairy ..

MAUREEN Come on, love. You’ve been walking round like a pale ghost for weeks. You’re not haunted, are you?

(PAUSE.)

VERONICA I’ve been lying to you.

MAUREEN About what?

VERONICA  I haven’t  had a clue what to do for the last two months. Remember my sister Orla … sent me a letter…inviting me over to Canada to stay. To live …forever …new job… (sobs) …new friends…

MAUREEN Oh, Ronnie…Look ,love, I know about you and Duncan…to be honest I was planning to teach him a lesson but when I started chatting to him …it just felt weird…

VERONICA Oh Maureen ,let’s just forget about him…I’ve been pretending. Putting on the old Ronnie brave face… walking round the park with a coffee. Coming home at half five like nothing happened. But inside… I feel like I’ve been unravelling.

(SILENCE. THEN MAUREEN PUTS HER ARM AROUND HER.)

MAUREEN You daft, beautiful woman. You don’t have to pretend with me. We’re not just friends. We’re—whatever the grown-up version of soulmates is.

VERONICA Overdue library books with legs?

MAUREEN (chuckling) Exactly.

SCENE 5 – Final Scene Walking Home:

(EXT. STREET, WALKING HOME – EVENING)

(SFX: EVENING BIRDS. STREETLAMPS BUZZ ON. SLOW FOOTSTEPS.)

VERONICA Feels like the air’s changed.

MAUREEN Spring. Or maybe Duncan’s aftershave—smelled like burnt cinnamon.

VERONICA I might leave, you know. Not sure I can leave you though , you  daft cow…that letter and Orla… She said that Canada can be the start of a new chapter… Said I should come…fresh start.

MAUREEN (softly) Are you going? You know you don’t need my permission, just save me a big Mountie for when I visit…

VERONICA  I don’t know. Maybe. Would you miss me?

MAUREEN Course not. Who else would criticise my footwear and eat all my bourbons?

(PAUSE.)

MAUREEN (gentler) Yes. I’d miss you like mad. But if you need to go… I’ll be here when you get back. In something sequinned. Probably crying into a biscuit.

VERONICA You’re one of a kind.

MAUREEN I know.

SCENE 6 – OUTSIDE VERONICA’S DOOR – NIGHT

(SFX: KEYS JANGLE. DOOR UNLOCKS. MAUREEN STARTS TO WALK AWAY.)

VERONICA Maureen?

MAUREEN (turning) Hmm?

VERONICA Thank you. For making the worst things feel less scary. Even if you do wear glitter at breakfast.

MAUREEN Glitter is a lifestyle, darling.

(SFX: DOOR CLOSES. FAINT MUSIC PLAYS OUT – WARM, LIGHT, HOPEFUL.)